A point that was shown to me that has been extremely supportive in my process is that of how our worlds have been inverted, so we are not actually ‘connected’ to other people mentally in any kind of way, in terms of directly experiencing another, but are actually only existing alone within and as our own minds, experiencing only ourselves as the mind. Thus, when I have a reaction towards someone, I know it is about me and not the other – very cool because suddenly all blame is void and one is able to see that they are self responsible for who they are and how they experience themselves and their world. As I have been stuck extensively in blame and subsequently anger towards others for much of my life, this has helped me to diffuse that point.
In my recent break up with my partner I realized that I had strayed somewhat from this realization, and saw that I had been projecting a lot of myself onto this person, and was more caught in blame then I realized, so this point of breaking up and having some time with myself helped me to see what I was doing, get past it and see what is really going on.
So in recent experiences I have been considering this point of ‘what is this experience or person showing me about myself’? If I am not directive but instead reactive to an experience/person, then there is a flag point that there is something I must look at, something unresolved. So I am then able to simply look at what is the principle of what which I am reacting to in the experience or another person, and see where the same point is existing within and as me. It could be something as for instance experiencing arrogance or stubbornness in another –so I look at myself – where am I still accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn/arrogant? If it is a point that is of real value I experience or see in another and I react, then I am able to look at where have I separated myself from that point. If I see stability and directness – where and how am I allowing myself to separate myself from and as stability/directness?
It is fascinating how applicable this is, it really started to change how I saw everything in my world.
So tonight I had an interesting experience with a friend who was having emotional issues, and has a history of substance abuse issues. My friend came to me for support, and after some time of discussion, I could see that this person was not interested in actual, real self support, but rather just wanted to ‘feel better’ and further suppress the issues. Essentially this person was fighting for their own limitations.
I came away from the experience with a kind of shitty feeling, like pity, and almost judging the person as ‘bad’ for not finding any self will or self respect to support themselves. With that, a ‘flag point’ came up for me, realizing that I am reacting to this situation and looking back, seeing that I was unable to direct the situation. With ease I was then able to see where and how recently in my life I had done the same – not found the self will and self respect to support myself effectively, and rather found a way to fight for my own limitations.
So it is quite cool to see how I’m able to learn from the mistakes of others as myself – meaning learn from the mistakes of others as I have or am making the same mistakes. These are not issues to be lost in the confusion and misunderstanding of blame, as everyone is essentially existing the same way – therefore everywhere you go there is support to be found if you are of self support, there is a teacher and a lesson to be found if you are willing to be the teacher and the student.
The tools are available to finally learn from the ‘sins of the fathers’ as the mistakes of others, and are overdue to be applied. This one example I’ve used of fighting for one’s own limitations and having no self respect has – from existing within everyone on an individual – accumulated into the disaster this world as a whole has become today, where billions suffer for no valid reason and we continue to find ways to prolong this suffering. Rather than finding a way out, we have been lost for ages in pointing fingers and arguing over who is responsible, not seeing that it is each and everyone one of us individually.
Within the Desteni I Process I have found the tools necessary to support myself in changing myself to no longer accept and allow self limitation and imperfection, so that I’m able to live to my full potential and contribute to a world that is a better place for all life.