Self Loathing. It is inevitable when you allow self dishonesty, when you accept yourself as flawed, when you allow self limitation, when you do not stand for anything or anyone but your own self interest.
This is what I have experience recently – and definitely not for the first time. Yet I have come full circle, and things just began to come to a point where I can’t stand myself, I am not satisfied with myself at all and from this anger emerges – anger with myself in fact – yet the tendency has always been to blame and so I have found this anger gets projected. If it were not for Desteni showing me that you can never blame another for how you experience yourself, I would have fallen extensively to this trap of blame – a way to justify why self do not need to change.
It takes guts to be a decent human being. Falling back into the old ways of spitefulness and self interest is really easy, it is for the weak – even though it is an awful experience where you only end up spiting yourself in the end.
So, it always comes back to self, it is about self – isn’t it perfect? A process that is all about you, where you realize that you are your own greatest enemy and there is no escape. This is exactly what is required. Time for a good look into the mirror in terms of seeing who we are and what is really going on – and decide – who am I? Where do I stand?